The Realistic Mario Kart
by Triforce90
Summary: Mario Kart, in the real world.
1. Gasoline

Yoshi slammed on his breaks, his fancy kart skidding to a halt. He had just finished racing his friends in Toad's Factory and was ready to call it quits for the day.

"Good race, Yoshi," commented Rosalina as she parked her bike next to the dinosaur. The Luma sat on her head, watching the dinosaur with a mixed feeling of fear and uncertainty. "If I'm right, you scored 55 points in this cup. That should put you in first."

Yoshi grinned and made a noise of thanks, knowing that the galactic princess probably didn't understand a word that he said. Still, there would be time for ceremonies later; right now he was absolutely tired, and he wanted to go home to take a quick rest.

As he started up his kart once again, he noticed that his fuel gauge was close to low. Knowing that he would pass a filling station on his trip home, he got on to the main road and waved goodbye to several of his friends as he passed them.

The filling station came into view, the large sign that indicated it to the motorists shining in the sunlight. Yoshi applied the brakes and began to slow down, turning on his turning signal in the process. He exited the motorway and pulled up to the one of the pumps, cutting off the engine as he did so.

He hopped out of the kart with an air of happiness, still excited by the news that Rosalina had told him. He took the pump off the handle and selected his fuel grade, replaying the last race in his mind as he placed the nozzle into the kart to fill it up.

It had been a hectic one. The race started off with Peach taking the lead, only to be nuked and obliterated by a blue shell that Yoshi was fortunate to receive. Yoshi took the lead shortly after that, maintaining it for the majority of the race. Rosalina, however, had approached him from out of nowhere and sent him tumbling after throwing a red shell, which caused him to fall back into third place. Angry that one of his best friends had done something so sly, he popped used a mushroom in order to get in front of Luigi, then focused on Rosalina. As if from nowhere, another blue shell appeared over the heads of the racers and collided into the galactic princess, sending her up into the air. Yoshi managed to dodge the aftershock just in time, putting him in first place with the finish line in sight. He crossed it with Luigi in second and Rosalina following in third.

The nozzle stopped pumping the gasoline as the tank became full. Putting the nozzle back in its original place, Yoshi looked up to see how much he would need to pay the cashier inside. His jaw dropped and his eyes shot open.

**81 DOLLARS AND 18 CENTS?!**


	2. Bananas, Part I

Peach giggled to herself whole-heartedly as she passed Toadette on her Mach Bike, which put her in first place. The finish line of Moonview Highway was just in sight, and crossing it would move her from lap two to the final lap of what she felt was the easiest track she had ever been on. First place was practically hers for the taking.

She noticed a patch of item boxes up ahead and drove into the one in the middle, hoping to get something that she could use to stall her friends behind her. She nearly jumped for joy when she received three bananas instead of merely one.

Noticing that Toadette was closing in, Peach threw one of the bananas behind her. Unfortunately, the small girl was able to drive out of the way. Peach sighed in frustration, weaving in and out of traffic and dropping the rest of the bananas along the way. Surely Toadette, or at least one of the other drivers, had to hit one of them.

There it was! The finish line! Peach leaned forward on her bike, hoping that she would somehow gain more speed by doing so. She wasn't more than 50 yards away, however, when she noticed a police car turning on its lights and speeding up behind her.

"Uh oh," she thought to herself. What was she to do? The finish line was right there in front of her, but she didn't want to keep going; that would be criminal. She hesitantly put on her blinker and pulled over to the side of the road as Toadette passed her, giggling loudly. Several of the other racers pulled ahead as well, most of them wondering why the princess was being pulled over.

"Is there a problem sir?" asked Peach as the officer stepped out of his car. She began to sweat as several more racers crossed the line.

"I'm going to have to give you a ticket," said the officer matter-of-factly. "The law is the law."

"What did I do wrong?" She hadn't been speeding at all.

Without saying a word, the officer pointed to a sign that was on the side of the road and continued to write out a ticket. Peach looked at it casually, curious to see what was written on it. Squinting her eyes because of the bad lighting, she barely made out what the sign said in large letters.

_DON'T LITTER!_

_10 – 2000 DOLLAR FINE_

"Aw crap."


	3. Bananas, Part II

Luigi rounded a corner on Moonview Highway, nearly losing his cap as he did so. Things weren't looking good for him at the moment; he was in the eighth place on the third and final lap. He was far ahead of everyone behind him, but he was farther behind everyone in front of him. Things weren't looking good at all.

He began to wonder how things had gotten like they were right then. The race had started out fine. It wasn't until he got into the second lap that he started to lag behind. While he had once been in second, things first took the turn for the worst when he drove off a cliff and rode down the slanted rock to the ground below. He managed to get back up on the track in time, but when he had done so he was in sixth. Bowser and King Boo, who had lost no momentum, passed him by, placing him in an even eighth.

While Luigi was replaying the events in his mind's eye, he had absolutely no clue as to what he was doing in reality. He seemed to be swerving in and out of the traffic as if it wasn't even there. He realized he had been subconsciously doing all of these things while he was in a trance. He congratulated himself for being so gifted.

He came to a rude awakening, however, when he noticed a small, yellow object lying on the road ahead of him. It was a banana peel that somebody had placed for someone else to run into! He gripped the wheel of his kart, hoping to be able to swerve in time, but he knew with instinct that such a sharp turn would make the vehicle turn over. He had no choice but to hit the peel head on.

_Thump_.

Luigi turned around to see the peel in the same spot, growing farther and farther away as he drove on.

"That was absolutley unecessary and retarded."

He kept going. He finished eighth.


	4. Shells, Part I

Toad looked at his right hand as his left steadied the handle bars of his bike. Sitting in his palm was a red shell, shining brilliantly in the sun. He looked up ahead and saw Daisy in front of him, her brown hair flowing in the wind. It was as if it were taunting him, saying "HI I'M DAISY!" over and over and over again. She had to be stopped.

He had heard Mario telling him about the red shells before. Apparently if you threw the shell, something bad would happen to the person in front of you. At least, that's what Toad thought he said.

Not knowing what to think, Toad decided to give it a whirl and threw the red shell with all his might. He watched as it flew through the air, majestically soaring above the pavement and towards his rival. It fell and hit the pavement a good five feet away.

Toad stared in silence.


	5. Shells, Part II

Rosalina gasped in shock as she realized a sharp turn was growing closer to her. She entered a drift to take on the curve, the tires of her hog sliding against the pavement. She had been distracted by something on the side of the road, but now that she had her full attention on the track, she was sure to be OK.

She was distracted again when Yoshi came zooming up behind her, taking her eyes off the road for just a second. She looked ahead once more and noticed a green turtle shell that was sitting idle on the track in front of her. It was too late to turn and avoid it, so she hit it straight on.

_Crack_.

She turned to look behind her and saw the shell lying in broken pieces.

She finished second.


End file.
